Quid Pro Bro

The third episode of BROdy Jenner’s Bromance pits the bro-mates into competing against each other to come up with the best activity that shows off their individuality.

Did you understand that Femi?

femi-mad
Individuality is defined by Merriam-Webster as “total character peculiar to and distinguishing an individual from others.”

Therefore, getting a tattoo that matches BROdy’s in font, body location, and design doesn’t speak to your individual traits. And you are teeming with plenty of individual flaws traits!

Barney Stinson, the keeper of The Bro Code, watches with absolute horror and intense fascination at the train wreck that is Femi.

barneystinson

ARTICLE 25 – A BRO DOESN’T LET ANOTHER BRO GET A TATTOO, PARTICULARLY A TATTOO OF A GIRL’S NAME

While not a tattoo of a girl, Femi gets his last name tattooed on his side. Just like BROdy’s. Daddycatcher commends the other bro-mates for trying to talk Femi out of getting the tattoo. Femi however has some weird need to be the center of attention of everything.

When the guys approach him, Femi breaks into a tantrum where he reveals he’s been in jail, someone he knows got shot, and he pooped in his pants in the third grade. It was a highly emotional moment that sprung out of nowhere, at least, where the rest of us are concerned.

femi

ARTICLE 58 – A BRO DOESN’T GROW A MUSTACHE.

BROdy, Frankie, and Sleazy T were clearly inspired by the anti-Bro revolutionary, Emiliano Zapata.

emiliano-zapata-3

mustauce

BROdy takes the guys to an authentic California Mexican restaurant to binge on his favorite “margis” and reveal who will no longer be in the running for his bromantic affections…

ARTICLE 67 – SHOULD A BRO PICK UP A GUITAR AT A PARTY AND COMMENCE PLAYING, ANOTHER BRO SHALL POINT OUT THAT HE IS A TOOL.

In the activity portion of the episode, Alex decides to create a bro band with BROdy and they rock out in true tool fashion. Nice jacket, Alex. Daddycatcher saw one just like it in the Salvation Army Thrift Store window yesterday.

alex-guitar

ARTICLE 102 – A BRO SHALL TAKE GREAT CARE IN SELECTING AND TRAINING HIS WINGMAN.

Chris P. must be pretty sad that he got booted off last week since Lauren Conrad made an appearance to him BROdy find his true bromance.* Lauren sat behind a screen and grimaced as she asked the bro-mates several questions to find out how good of a friend they will be to BROdy. Alex won, but really, it was no contest. All the others gave lame answers.

Seriously, these guys are devoid of any game whatsoever.

wingman

*How many takes do you think BROdy did in the opening into when he has to say, “I am trying to find my true bromance.” Daddycatcher is an actor and he gives props to BROdy. He says it with more conviction than Daddycatcher ever could.

ARTICLE 123 – TWO BROS SHALL MAINTAIN AT LEAST A THREE-FOOT RADIUS BETWEEN THEM WHILE DANCING ON THE SAME FLOOR, EVEN WHEN REENACTING THE KNIFE FIGHT FROM “BEAT IT,” WHICH, TWO BROS SHOULDN’T DO ANYWAY, OR AT LEAST NOT VERY OFTEN.

…unless at a gay bar…all bets are off in a gay bar!

danceoff

gayclub-manana-dance-aaaa

The Mexican Fire Squad took aim and shot Jerred out of the competition. And the tears were on the verge of coming out before MTV spoiled it and ran the credits.

jerred

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