Daddycatcher would like to propose a BROast!

If there was any reason why Daddycatcher should have tried out for BROdy Jenner’s Bromance, it was presented in the visage of gay prospective “bro,” Michael.

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Michael floundered so tragically that Daddycatcher cowered in embarrassment for all gay kind. Michael was obsessed with The Hills and thought that the show was going to be a replica of the Lauren Conrad-led reality show.

After seeing the Bro-Mansion, with its frat boy décor, Michael wanted out. He just couldn’t take living in “one big flea market gone retarded.” After committing several sins against “The Bro Code,” he withdrew himself from the frat race.

Now there is no gay on, quite possibly, the gayest show on TV.

Wait, what is that you say?

“Daddycatcher, what is The Bro Code?”

The Bro Code, according to ultimate Bro Barney Stinson, is the internal code of conduct that is regarded by Bros the world over.

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And it is Daddycatcher’s job to make sure that BROdy Jenner and his wingmen, Frankie Delgado and Sleazy T, follow the Bro Code in the way the Stinson dynasty would have approved. If Bromance has taught us anything from its premiere episode is that a good Bromosexual is hard to find.

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ARTICLE 15 – A BRO NEVER DANCES WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE HIS HEAD

After not being able to score hot chicks to bring to the Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie party, Femi decides to insert a break dance into his toast to BROdy. He may not have been scored any girls to attend the party, but his hands never reached for the stratosphere.

ARTICLE 24 – WHEN WEARING A BASEBALL CAP, A BRO MAY POSITION THE BRIM AT EITHER 12 OR 6 O’CLOCK. ALL OTHER ANGLES ARE RESERVED FOR RAPPERS AND THE HANDICAPPED.

Jacob forgoes having to worry about this article by wearing fedoras. Even in the hot tub elimination scene, when he gets sent packing.

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ARTICLE 27 – A BRO NEVER REMOVES HIS SHIRT IN FRONT OF OTHER BROS, UNLESS AT A RESORT POOL OR BEACH.

Daddycatcher is assuming that the Bro-Mansion has a pool. If we are observing the articles of the Bro Code, then there is no reason Chris P. should have taken his shirt off at the bar after his toast to BROdy. He should have waited until he got home. That being said, Chris P. can disregard Article 27 anytime he wants!!!

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ARTICLE 42 – UPON GREETING ANOTHER BRO, A BRO MAY ENGAGE IN A HIGH FIVE, FIST BUMP, OR BRO HUG, BUT NEVER A FULL EMBRACE.

Lots of love on Bromance. Bro hugs, all around!!! It was during all this show of affection that Daddycatcher thought of that internet sensation, Baitbus. All of these guys are a fist bump in a van away from being gay. And does anyone really do the fist bump besides BROdy, the Obamas, and the ladies of The View?

ARTICLE 52 – A BRO IS NOT REQUIRED TO REMEMBER ANOTHER BRO’S BIRTHDAY

In one strange – and pretty gay – move, Michael gives BROdy a birthday card at the Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie party. BROdy is gracious but as the wise Bro himself says later, “A greeting card? At a lingerie party? Really!?!”
See also ARTICLE 8: A BRO NEVER SENDS A GREETING CARD TO ANOTHER BRO.

ARTICLE 56 – A BRO IS REQUIRED TO ALERT ANOTHER BRO IF THE BRO/CHICK RATIO AT A PARTY FALLS BELOW 1:1.

The week’s challenge clearly exhibits understanding of Article 56. Each potential bro-mate has to bring two hot chicks to the Fredericks of Hollywood party. Geeks Gary & Chris F. score big by being the first two men to have their chicks arrive on time. Therefore, the Bro/Chick ratio is 2:1 – with the exception of Chris P. and Femi. Although Chris F. thought he had the hot chick contest in the bag, BROdy picked Luke (and his thick Medford, MA accent) as the winner with two hot blonde roommates.

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ARTICLE 63 – A BRO WILL MAKE ANY AND ALL EFFORTS TO PROVIDE HIS BRO WITH PROTECTION.

BROdy invites everyone to his bro-proofed pad and Chris F. wisely asks if they should bring condoms. That is the making of a good bro. BROdy, pay attention to these things!!!

ARTICLE 70 – A BRO WILL DRIVE ANOTHER BRO TO THE AIRPORT OR PICK HIM UP, BUT NEVER BOTH FOR THE SAME TRIP. HE IS NOT EXPECTED TO BE ON TIME, HELP WITH LUGGAGE, OR INQUIRE ABOUT HIS BRO’S TRIP OR GENERAL WELL-BEING.

When gay loser Michael leaves the show, BROdy offers him a ride to the airport. In a sign that BROdy might rival Barney Stinson as the ultimate Bro, BROdy helps Michael with his luggage. Oh BROdy!!!

ARTICLE 81 – A BRO LEAVES THE TOILET SEAT UP FOR HIS BROS.

The Can-fessional. That’s all…

ARTICLE 86 – WHEN A BRO MEETS A CHICK, HE SHALL ENDEAVOR TO FIND OUT WHERE SHE FITS ON THE HOT/CRAZY SCALE BEFORE PURSUING HER.

Daddycatcher did not see any of the bromies check out for crazies among the hot chicks. However, if you’re inviting random girls to a party just to get bromantical with BROdy Jenner – who really is the crazy one here!?!

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One Response to “Daddycatcher would like to propose a BROast!”

  1. Interesting Read! Very detailed blog.
    Thanks for sharing

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